dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
