Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize