i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
COCAINE IS GR8
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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