it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
