No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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