garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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