I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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