i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
