I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
