I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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