Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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