What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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