If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
