I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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