i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
