So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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the room spins SO much faster in panama
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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