Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
