So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize