i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
