"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
