I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
