Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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