You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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