We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
sex in a hospital.. check
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
