69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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