so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Alive.
So much puke
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
