ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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