dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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