That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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