What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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