very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
