Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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