just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
