i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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