Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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