Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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