i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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