i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am one with the molecules
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize