I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this will be a night to untag.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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