quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
