my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
