Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize