you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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