paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize