i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.