are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Someone shit on the floor
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
