Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
