My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
