Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
