I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
