I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
3pm strippers are depressing
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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