fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
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So squirting runs in the family.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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