ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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