Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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