this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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