I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
