Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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