alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize