therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
