Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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