how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
