I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We have started to decorate penises.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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