Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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