I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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