South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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