i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will pee on everything he values.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
